"It's surprising what those two little words do for a person," he said. "It's easy to say and it does a lot of good."

Researchers find that regular gratitude can promote health, happiness
By Matt Sedensky, THE ASSOCIATED PRESS

ST. PETERSBURG, Fla. - Bill Golden survived more than 20 years in the U.S. Army and another 30 in law enforcement. He fell sick with colon cancer, and at 86, he has an artificial hip and arthritis in his knees.

Golden still gives thanks, though, and researchers say that appreciative attitude can be good for you, too.

Academics have long theorized that expressions of thanks promote health and happiness and give optimism and energy to the downtrodden. Now, the study of gratitude has become a surprisingly burgeoning field, and research indicates being thankful might help people actually feel better. There's a catch, however: You have to say thanks more than just once a year.

"If you don't do it regularly you're not going to get the benefits," said Sonja Lyubomirsky, a psychology professor at the University of California, Riverside. "It's kind of like if you went to the gym once a year. What would be the good of that?"

In recent years, researchers have tried to measure the benefits of gratitude. In a National Science Foundation-funded study, Northeastern University psychologist David DeSteno had participants complete an arduous data entry task only to have it lost by computer malfunction. Then, a lab assistant, seemingly unconnected to the study and claiming to be in a hurry for their own experiment, restores the lost work.

The participant is dismissed, and bumps into the lab assistant, who asks for help. DeSteno found those who had been helped by the assistant, and were grateful for it, were more likely to return the favour, and did so for longer than those in a group not helped.

"Gratitude leads people to act in virtuous or more selfless ways," said DeSteno, whose research was published earlier this year in the journal Current Directions in Psychological Science. "And it builds social support, which we know is tied to both physical and psychological well being."

Robert Emmons, a psychology professor at the University of California, Davis, said those who offer gratitude are less envious and resentful. They sleep longer, exercise more and report a drop in blood pressure, said Emmons, who wrote "Thanks! How Practicing Gratitude Can Make You Happier."

Brenda Shoshanna, a New York psychologist, agreed.

"You can't be depressed and grateful at the same time," said Shoshanna, the author of "365 Ways to Give Thanks: One for Every Day of the Year." "It makes a person physically, mentally, in every way healthier."

As for Golden, he doesn't pay much attention to the academics. He simply acknowledges he's "one lucky dude," grateful for his two children, two grandchildren, and his 89-year-old girlfriend. When he celebrates U.S. Thanksgiving this Thursday, he and his family will gather around the table, hold hands and say thank you.

Where There's Noise, There's Boys

I invited Gabe's friend, Degan, over for the afternoon. We had his company for lunch, the afternoon and dinner tonight. I have to say that I liked the noise.

There was heavy footfall to startle me, and running from kitchen to living room to annoy me, and boy voices to make me laugh, and fighting over cars for me to referee, and big appetites to appease.

By 5:30 pm, Degan was being driven home by T, and Gabe, blurry eyed and chaotic was easing into bedtime. He was out like a light by 7 pm. Boys that go to sleep early are blessings. :)

Gabriel Becoming

"Things" are happening today.

For instance, Gabe is invited to a Wednesday play date at Degan's house.

Without me. Gasp!

Is this really happening? Am I brave enough to let him go by himself? I really don't know if I can do this...

And during today's marathon of The Mean Kitty, (Gabe's absolute favorite these days), he kept pointing to different characters and asking "What's his name?". Doesn't sound like much but it is great big stuff for our family. He's asking a beautiful well rounded question all on his own!

We ordered pizza tonight from a joint called "Gabriel's Pizza". T showed the box lid to Gabe and asked him what it said. And he said, "Gabriel. Hey, that's my name!" Again, there is change happening here...

One last thing. I was completely tired out today so I was coaxing Gabe into a nap by lying down on his bed and offering up good reads of Dr. Seuss and Lynley Dodd. He was not having any of it, well aware of my master nap plan. But he did say, "You have beautiful eyes." after he pointed out my "one nose", "two ears" and "two eyebrows" (thank you, tweezers!).

That woke me up.

My sister once remarked how suddenly her daughter would change. From one moment to the next, it seemed. And I have to agree.

Last night, when Gabe was standing right in front of the television -- mere inches away actually because he can't bear to miss a single pixel of Miss Marnie, The TV Teacher -- I saw his boy shoulders for the first time. T had remarked on how he was filling out but I really saw it for the first time. Again, a reminder that time waits for no one and it is time to let go of those baby days...

Gabriel Tracing his Name

At home, we try to get in name tracing practices with Gabe, after lunch, once Ben is down for his nap. It's always for a short time -- and only if Gabe is into doing it; hence, we don't do it everyday.

Although Gabriel can print his name in uppercase letters, his teacher requires him to use the uppercase G to start his name and the rest of his name in lowercase. Because T and I are so focused on complete inclusion for Gabriel at this time in his life, we feel it is important that Gabriel keep up with his peers. If this is how it will be taught for all the students, then we will abide.

His friends at school are at varying degrees of ability for printing their names. For instance, Gabriel can verbally spell out his full name but not freehand print it yet. Degan, his little friend, can print the D and that is it. He didn't recognize his own name when completely printed. Gabriel is doing quite well as far as letter recognition goes. It is his fine motor abilities that need the most work, hence the practice at home.

In the following video, you will see a few things going on that reflect life with Gabe. For instance, he does a little self-talk (he gets that from his mother) while doing the exercise. (I wouldn't be surprised to see him grow into quite the self-talker...like me.)

He also has "Five Little Pumpkins" running through his head because suddenly he says, "Oh my! It's getting late!" -- which is one of the lines from the rhyme.

He also corrects his grip on his marker, too. He remembers how his previous OT corrected his grip and he is ever reminding himself.

He's quite independent and I'm happy to see hand-over-hand slowly disappearing for Gabe.

I'm hoping that in the quite not-so-far future I'll be recording Gabriel printing his name freehand without having to trace.

Friends

I kept Gabe home from school on Tuesday and Wednesday. Although he wasn't coughing a whole lot, when he did, the coughing sounded wet. I always worry over fluid in the lungs -- usually unnecessarily -- and this time wasn't any different. He has a small cold and he's doing great.

Yesterday, when I picked him up at school, his teacher and the resource teacher were anxious for me to know that he received a birthday invitation. It was kind of funny to have them yelling over the school yard to me, "Gabe has an invitation in his backpack!" -- I could tell it was something that they felt really good about. It made me feel good to see their reaction.

And, of course, a birthday invite always brings smiles into our household.

I talked with the mother organizing her son's birthday, and I guess he asked for Gabriel to be invited. That, in itself, means more than anyone could know.

Unless you, like me and T, are a parent of a child with a disability -- being invited by a peer is big stuff. We'll definitely accept them as often as possible. ;)

This afternoon, Gabe's school buddy, Degan, came home with us for lunch and a play date. It was great to have the two big boys help me push the bike trailer (where Ben was sitting) all the way. I was a bit worried about how things were going to play out because Gabe's been really aggressive with Ben lately. Fortunately, it was a great time, and when Ben went down for his nap, Gabe and Degan could focus on hanging out together.

I remember the resource teacher telling me that the friendship between Degan and Gabe is "natural". I hesitate, always, in my own insecurities. Can Gabe sustain a friendship? But I have to tell you that what I saw today was truly friendship. The boys have this kind of "ying and yang" thing going on. Where one child might interpret Gabe as being intrusive, Degan welcomed Gabe's quirks as positive things. It's like Degan simply understands and accepts all that makes up Gabe. Friends. We all need friends...

The Newest Specials Episode is Out!

The Specials - Episode 9 from KADA Films on Vimeo.